since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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