I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
