In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
