do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
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