sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Randomize
