Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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