He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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