She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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