he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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