they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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