Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
