The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
