You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
