A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
