Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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