She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
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