it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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