I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
