HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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