cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
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