Non-Jews are for practice
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
is it fun? or sober?
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize