...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
