he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
