Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
