i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
