D3 body, D1 cock
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Never underestimate the power of titties
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
