My nipple is on Facebook.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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