I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
