Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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