make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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