I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
She told me I should be a condom model.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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