the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
