he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
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