As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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