we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
