Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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