I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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