If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
