I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Randomize
