oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
