she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
