what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
