Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Randomize
