I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
she looked like the before picture.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
