I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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