so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
