I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
