Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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