Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Randomize