ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
