Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
