Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
