we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
