so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
