No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Randomize
