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U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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