And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize