He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
he fucked my hip out of place.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
