some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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