We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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