she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Randomize
