Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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