Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
